{SPOILER! SPOILER! SPOILER!} Breaking Dawn, Capito?!?! SPOILER!!! xDDD

Anyways... So I went to my local release party--wasted--mind you. And the moment I got my hands on the book I flipped to the last chapter and there was the Holy Hand Grenade of FAIL, NESSIE, and I wanted to die. In fact, I think I did, many times.

I also searched feverishly for the horror that is the imprint on Nessie Cullen, and, here it is, summarized and transcribed for you all to see.


So we leave Chapter 14 in Jacob's POV. It stays with him until after the imprint. Basically, what happens is Bella goes into labor, ladidadida. And the Baby being all made of super-human strength basically breaks Bella's body and spinal cord. Egh. Bella is this close(-) to dying.

Jacob's like "OMG! CPR!"

And Edward's like "OMG! GET THAT THING OUT!"

Jacob's too busy trying to keep Bella alive that he doesn't even see Nessie being removed from the deep.

And Bella's still dying. Edward injects Bella with his venom using a syringe. What a GREAT WAY TO GET PAST THE TREATY MEYER! "IT DOESN'T COUNT IF HE'S NOT ACTUALLY BITING HER LOLZ!!!1!!!"

Jacob's pissed because Bella's dying, but even more so because now she's dying eternally. So Jacob decides to kill the monster. He hunts down Rosalie because she's the one with the baby at the moment. Right as Jacob goes to kill the abomination, he imprints.

HIS EXACT WORDS: (caps and bold are mine)

Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate--the EXACT SAME COLOR THAT BELLA'S HAD BEEN.

My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new king of heat--not a burning.

It was a glowing.

Everything inside me cam undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was--my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self--disconnected from me in the second--snip snip snip--and floated up into space.

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing--the the very center of the universe.

I could see that now--how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer ties me to the place where I stood.

It was the baby girl in the blond vampire's arms that held me here now.

RENESMEE.

From upstairs, there was a new sound. The only sound that could touch me in this endless instant.

A frantic pounding, a racing beat...

A changing heart.

[END BOOK II JACOB]


Anyone else want to puke? Because I do.

This book is a piece of crap.
I absolutely cannot believe I waiting in line for this shit. I am appalled by my own literary tastes.
I knew SMeyer was never a fabulous writer, but I thought that the books were fun and that the story was engaging.
Not anymore.
I defended these books when my friends made fun of me, but I probably won't anymore.
If this book had been any good, I would have stayed up all night and I would have been finished at this moment, but my heart isn't in it.
This book is TERRIBLE. I don't even know if I have the energy to finish it.
I don't even know if I care.
I am really heartbroken and disappointed. Twilight was recommended to me by a friend (who is currently still awake and has not slept AT ALL since we got our books and is parked on my couch and crying with disappointment), and the series was a great summer read for me. I really cared about these characters, and I especially cared about Jacob.
I even cared about Edward.
But after what I've read, I'm done. In a perfect world, they would all contract some sort of raging anti-mythical-creatures-and-whiney-bitches virus and die. End of book, Happy ending for me!

*EDIT* 8/2/08 - 12:40PM
I would like to add that the ONLY redeeming thing I've found in this book so far is SETH. I LOVE that kid. He is the only person in the book that I hope lives if there's an apocolypse that wipes everyone else out *fingers crossed*.


Am I the only one who feels this way?

This is somewhat rambly and a bit long and Swiss I try to focus on the Jacob/pack aspects, not too difficult with this book! I didn't f-lock this post since it's after the release; mods please let me know if I ought to f-lock it.

Well, I loved it. This book just warmed the cockles of my Swiss heart. Insofar as this is a community for appreciating all aspects of J/B, not just romance, I really really really really love that Bella's daughter is the solution, that this binds Bella and Jacob together anew. When he imprinted on Nessie (I prefer the nickname myself I whooped and cheered. I need [info]ronjacobfan and [info]bluesuzanne to explain to me if I'm sick in the head or not

Oh, and when Edward called Jacob his brother and his son, I MELTED. I am SUCH a sap, but I just love, love, love that.

Now, I have seen at least one fanfic before with this premise, that Jacob imprints on Bella and Edward's daughter, but in that fanfic Edward became human first and the baby was born normally. The prospect of Edward siring a child as a vampire never crossed my mind. It totally turned the whole vampire-choice situation on its head, because Bella did have a choice (i.e. to carry her child to term) and that choice involved being injured to the extent that only being a vampire could save her, and Jacob fully consented to the choice. It's not a scenario I envisioned. I do have some objection to this possibility only cropping up in book 4... we never heard hide nor hair of dhampirs in any previous book... but of course if Meyer had dropped even a hint, everyone would have guessed the endgame. It reminds me of how JK Rowling only introduced the Elder Wand in book 7; it was cheating, but I can understand why she held off on introducing the object.

The best part of the book was the Jacob-narrated section. I think Meyer did an extremely clever thing to switch to Jacob's POV when Bella was injured, thereby giving us more action and more interaction than Bella could give us in her injured state. It spared us the stuck-in-a-tent problem from the last Potter book. The tense, emotional atmosphere of that section, the creation of the new pack, Jacob's negative interactions with Rosalie, the fact that Jacob claimed his birthright, Esme being all motherly to the wolves... all excellent. It reminded me strongly of the middle (and best) section of "The Host", when Wanderer comes among the free humans.

The last section of the book is a little weak. The influx of foreign vampires reminds me too much of the influx of potential Slayers in the last season of BTVS... it just dilutes the impact; the vampires we have been expecting (i.e. the Denali) get a bit lost in the mix. And the long, talky confrontation with Aro reminds me of the bits in Anita Blake where Jean-Claude would stand on the stairs disputing with some other vampires for what seemed like hours on end, and I'd be like "fight already!"

However, the number one thing I wanted from this book was closure that didn't feel too contrived, and I feel like I got it. Bella's long suffering with Nessie changed the calculus that we inherited from "Eclipse". Jacob imprinting on her felt right in some way which no other imprint would have done, because he was so much a part of the process; suffering and sacrificing right alongside the Cullens, keeping Bella warm, claiming his birthright to protect Bella and through her, her daughter. That, to me, makes it real, not just a hijacking of Jake's free will, though I am of course very interested to know what true, committed B/J-ers think of this twist... I fled the comm to keep spoiler-free last week, so I haven't heard anyone's opinion

The whole Charlie situation was nicely resolved by Jacob. Clever guy, that! It is clear from Bella's stated intentions (p. 301) that she was planning on seeing Charlie afterward, not faking her death. And I totally called that they could distract Charlie from the essentials using a football game!

Random pack-related thoughts from my notes... Edward and Seth hugging made my solar year. Jake came back on his own, so points to all who called that (I had less faith in him; my bad!) Jake's reaction to finding out that Bella and Edward would have a "real" honeymoon made me scream, because I had started a fanfic with that very premise a few weeks ago, tru fax Quil making gay jokes at Jacob absolutely freaking cracked me up. Sam, I love you, because you totally vindicated me on the treaty by saying (before Bella's pregnancy) that you would not risk the pack's life to stop Bella's choice. Whoops, drug metaphor for J/B on p. 189... wouldn't have caught it if it wasn't for this comm (There was a later drug metaphor for E/B as well.) I fell in love with Jacob all over again when he declared that killing Carlisle would be murder. His focus on Carlisle was PERFECT. I cannot express how much more this book added to my love for Jacob. When Jacob embraced his birthright as Alpha expressly to protect the Cullens, I wrote "VIVA SWITZERLAND" in big capital letters in my notes. Jacob's relationship with Rosalie was VERY interesting. It was a very unexpected twist; they have so often been cast as natural allies, yet Meyer neatly threw a twist that made Rosalie side with Bella against both Edward and Jacob. Oh, and all the blond jokes cracked me up. The hunting scenes where the wolves were hunting animals threw me a bit; it made them more truly wolf-like, not just becoming wolves to fight vampires. I like that Leah got some resolution by getting out from under Sam's control, but not a totally neat resolution. I REALLY thought she and Jacob might get together before he imprinted on Nessie.

Overall, some great stuff; the last section definitely needed pruning but there were awesome twists and turns. I can't see why any E/B shipper can ever hate Jacob again. Come on, they're all family now! And Edward is SO totally going to follow Jacob and Nessie around on their first date!

Thoughts?

My thoughts on BD
OKay, lets start with the release party at Barnes and Noble.

It totally sucked. It was full of thirteen year old girls (and I know that for a fact because I've seen them with my thirteen year old sister before) who kept proclaiming their love for all things Edward and hoping that Jacob would just die.

At some point in the night I saw a girl with a hat on that I saw on this community. So i walked over and asked if she had an LJ and if she made the hat together and she said, "sort of beautiful!" So I got my picture with her. =]

Blah blah blah. Lame party antics ensue. Get the book (17th in line). come home. read.

Thoughts on the book:

OKay. It wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be, but I could have done without all of the imprinting and what have you. I could have done without the happy ending. It shouldn't have had a happy ending with Bella and Edward and Nessy and Jacob as one big happy family.

I adore Jacob. I adore him so much and I love him to pieces and for a moment there, I thought it was going to happen. I thought that he was going to get together with Leah. What is better, may I ask you, than the two most cynical wolves who've just made up and come to terms with each other? I thought for one fleeting moment that they had a chance at a fling or... something. I had read the spoilers before hand and knew that Nessy and Jake were gonna end up together.

OH. And the hypocrisy of Bella. "Jake, don't worry. One day you'll imprint and everything will work out. I promiseee." to "OMG YOU STUPID DOG GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HER." grr. That really irked me.

And the battle! Or lack there of! I was expecting something. I was expecting someone to die, someone to get hurt. But, no! Why couldn't someone have died? That would have made it better, because in real life, there aren't happy endings. There's just things with how they end and you do the best that you can with all the lose ends.

Bella's perfectionism killed me, too. WHY did she had to be perfect at everything? Maybe it was because she had thought it through for so long before hand, but why?! Couldn't she have been a mediocre vampire and have it been left at that? Couldn't she have had flaws aside from her LIPS?!

So, if you were to take everything from Bella's books out of the book and just leave Jacob's POV, I would have been pretty happy. I liked that the most. I liked the fact that Jacob proclaimed his Alpha status and made his own pack (even if he didn't want Seth and Leah with him).

So. all in all, I'm not the happiest person with the book. However, I will say that I am more than pleased with the Jacob portion of it. Maybe Smeyer will write a WHOLE book from his point of view. There's something that's tangible about his pain and something tangible about everything. And even though it was only a few weeks, I'd be more than interested in reading what exactly Jacob was doing when he ran away, what was going through his mind.

Anyway. I've got major mixed feelings about this book. It wasn't as horrid as I thought it would be, but it definitely didn't live up to what I was wishing for.

Sorry that none of this makes sense. haha

ETA: This book almost made me feel really bad for Leah. I think she's such an under appreciated character. I honestly, truly believe that. When I was reading Jacob's book, everything that happened with him and Leah... all the things she said and did just made me feel so empathetic towards her. I think it would truly suck to be her. In Eclipse, I was all, "Gr, she's a bitch" and now I'm like, "wow, she's got it rough." The whole thing about her being menopausal at the age of twenty made me really upset for some reason, too.

breaking dawn... oh, my, how can i start? why not: how could it end this way? the plot is nothing like what any of us expected - or wanted, i'd imagine. i had resigned myself to the fact that e/b were going to be together forever, that bella was going to become a vampire, and that jacob might mprint. this book perverted and bastardized all of these ideas until all i had left was a sour taste in my mouth. everything about it, from head to toe, was ridiculous. we have some out-of-characterness, from no one more than bella, who goes from an emotional wreck in regards to jacob and wanting him to be the one whose arms were around her, to being like, "my brother, yay. 'just the way it was supposed to be.'" i'm sorry? wasn't it supposed to be j/b if edward hadn't gotten in the way? on top of that, the storytelling was just bad. a kid? the name? the lack of a large battle? the missed opportunities?

we handed this book to her on a silver platter. all she had to do was have bella choose edward, still have lingering feelings for jacob she'll just work through, a j/b friendship, tanya!jealousy for good measure, the pack, the cullens, the volturi, an epic fight, the wedding, the turning, and bella choosing wolves as her meal of choice. i would have been pleased with that ending. yes, it's cookie cutter considering the fact that it's what we all expected since book 1, for the most part, but it was built up. plus, with all the foundation laid out, she still had room to play around and have fun. giving them a kid is not fun. this is a young adult novel. the wedding was pushing it. the kid just threw the books overboard, where steph is now jumping sharks in an attempt to get them back again.

but, mostly? i hate what she did to the characters. if she gave this kid to us, but also gave us believable resolutions, i would have been semi-okay with it. hell, at least let us kill the bad guys! not only did she ruin her own mythology - suddenly j/b were always meant to be family and not romance?; suddenly bella can give up life and still get the kid? - she completely negated the love that j/b shared. she left us no room to mess around in fic. she gave us nothing. and that's not even counting the grammatical errors.

and, since everyone can't stop comparing her to damn jkr, can i just say this? (and i'm comparing the authors, here, and their writing styles, not so much the ships.) yes, jo lacked tact when she called harry/hermione fans delusionsal, but for the most part, it did not affect the way she wrote book 7. ron/hermione got their romance like she'd always planned and harry/hermione spent, what, 1/3 of the book alone together with an unbreakably strong friendship? while it might not have been a romance, it wasn't a slap in the face (unless you counted the "she's like a sister to me," scene and even that has been explained away). she didn't suddenly go, "oh, and harry/hermione stopped being close because i have a secret agenda just because i said so and thus it must be so." she never said that the two were in love with each other, either. i feel like that's what smeyer did. she snatched away everything that made us love j/b and took it away. the only moments i truly loved were in the first part, at the wedding, when she cries upon seeing him and when they dance to his heartbeat. even their proclaimed "repaired friendship" didn't feel real to me. it felt like she had them smiling and laughing with each other because no book was complete without j/b fun, but she took out all of the warmth.

i didn't mean for it to end up as a rant, but i guess i still can't get over bd, even if i feel it did end at eclipse.

1) Bella e Ed si sposano. Vanno in viaggio di nozze su "Isle Esme" dove lui la mette incinta.
2) Hanno una figlia che chiamano NESSI, che in latino significa "piccolo agnello" {and so the lion fell in love with the lamb}.
3) Jake ha l'imprinting con Nessi {xD}
4) Bella da vampira ha il potere dello SCUDO D'AMORE, è lei che salva tutti alla fine contro i Volturi {ahahahahahahahahah}
5) La sorella di Tanya, Irina, muore. Tanya e Bella diventano amiche.
6) Non si parla di Rosalie nell'Epilogo.
7) Charlie finisce con Sue Clearwater

1) sono sull'isola, blabla l'acqua è calda, blabla Edward no, blabla Bella pensa che sono fatti per stare insieme appassionatamente.

2) lo fanno nell'acqua, non si vede niente, non è descritto niente. Cade il sipario.

3) si risvegliano, e lei è ricoperta di piume perché Edward per scaricare la tensione ha distrutto mezzi cuscini. Lui ha paura di averle fatto male {lei ha dei graffi sulle braccia}, lei dice che non gli ha fatto niente di insopportabile. Poi ha paura che a lui non sia piaciuto. Ma lui le rivela che è stata la cosa migliore della sua vita, e che ne aveva parlato con Jasper, Emmet e Carlisle. Insomma sono felici. Lui promette di non farsela più fino a quando non è vampira.

4) Bella sogna di Edward nudo e blabla, si alza e si mette a piangere, sveglia Ed baciandolo e gli dice che è la cosa più importante della sua vita e lo deve amare blabla. Ciulano. Si vede, ma nessun dettaglio.

5) si svegliano e Ed ha distrutto la camicia da notte di Bella e la testiera di Esme. Tutto insomma.

6) Bella chiama Carlisle e gli dice che piange spesso e si sveglia nauseata. Tada! Bella è incinta.

Fine.

Praticamente Bella dice a Carlisle che sente qualcosa muoversi dentro di se ed è sicura di essere incinta, se lo sente. Edward è sconvolto perchè non sa cosa fare, perchè Carlisle pensa che il piccolo ponsa nutrirsi di lei da dentro. Jake cerca di farla abortire, Edward è mooolto confuso, e pensa che sia meglio perchè così rischierebbe la morte e lei chiede aiuto a Rosalie perchè lo vuole tenere e Rosalie e lei fanno una battaglia contro di loro letteralmente XD. Non si capisce bene se è una gravidanza molto veloce o cosa, fatto sta che un giorno Bella, che era seduta sul divano di casa Cullen, si alza e comincia a stare male, Edward e Alice e gli altri sono spaventati e Edward la tira su, e lei dice (è convinta sia maschio) "aiutatelo, non riesce a respirare!" e comincia a vomitare sangue. Partorisce e c'è tutta una descrizione del dolore lancinante che prova (blah blah blah), poi si ritrova a stringere stravolta la piccola e la descrive con i ricci rossi e gli occhi nocciola come i suoi, coperta di placenta (ma che schifo XD) poi all'improvviso si sente trascinare giu, delle voci allarmate la chiamano, si sente prendere la piccola e cade nell'oscurità. Allora Edwad la morde per salvarle la vita e lei sente tutto quello che le accade attorno e Edward dire: "Bella, amore, se mi senti, stringimi la mano o apri gli occhi solo per un secondo.." lei non lo fa perchè ha paura che il dolore aumenti e allora Edward che singhiozza stile pianto comincia a dire: "Bella, ti prego, stringimi la mano..." e Bella non ci riesce e sente i lamenti di Nessie (Renesme si chiama XD) Poi arriva Carlisle che dice a tutti: "Sentite il suo cuore! Edward, starà benissimo, è più veloce di quella di Emmett, e il veleno defluisce più in fretta di quello di Esme!" poi quando bella si sveglia che è ancora un po' febbriciante a letto, Carlisle spiega che Renesme è mezza umana e mezza vampira, praticamente la sua trasformazione è lenta e indolore, verso i sei o sette anni, comincerà ad accusare qualcosa di vampiresco. Arriva Jake che guarda la piccola e se ne innamora.